Yes, I know my last post I said I wouldn’t be touching this subject.
Here I am finding myself going back on that. Because there’s a lot of vile things being said. Towards everyone on both sides. Whether you believe Melissa or you believe Nick, a lot of insults are being thrown at each other. And the thing is…that’s not okay. This post despite my best efforts might have errors, because I’m speaking from the heart on this one.
Let me start with saying only Nick and Melissa know 100% for sure what happened. This is based on what I know, that’s it.
Now when Melissa first put out her allegations against Nick (google it, cause I’m not going into that), my first inclination was actually to believe her. I know all about victim shaming (which I promise I’m not trying to do) and the psychology of why victims wait to come forward. My major was psychology so I know more than people assume, with me being a fan and all. It’s why I felt that way. I stayed quiet when this first came out because I didn’t know what to think. Then, the news hits the mainstream media and a lot more information followed because the internet never forgets.
I had questions. Suddenly, I was seeing more and more holes appear in the story. I said so, on The Dark Side forum and I was torn apart for it. Others who also were asking similar things, were called “batshit crazy”. (The mildest of what’s been said, there’s way worse on twitter.) We had to ban the topic because there were too many who chose to insult rather than discuss.
Why? Because we asked questions. Because we said here’s why we don’t believe this is the case. I wasn’t calling Melissa any names, I wasn’t trying to victim shame. I was legitimately trying to figure things out. Cause the more I learned? The more I realized the story doesn’t gel for me. Because his story made more sense with the information I had.
Sara wrote a great blog post laying out everything that’s leading many of us to question Melissa’s version of the events that went down. So I don’t see a need to break it all down here, please read it. She’s been keeping it updated with all the oddities that have followed, and trust me when I say there’s a LOT of oddities. You can make your own opinion from there but you’ll be able to see why I very strongly doubt Melissa’s story.
I’m not shaming Melissa. Like I said, at first I was really confused cause I felt that I should believe her. But I’m also a solid believer in that you need not take anything at face value. Don’t believe everything you read blindly. You need to be sure of what you know before you make a choice of which side rings true. You dig first, you ask questions. When I did so and all those things mentioned in Sara’s post kept popping up, my brows rose. You shouldn’t believe someone just because they are female. That’s a disservice to the gender and to the justice system. You believe or disbelieve based on what evidence you find, facts, on whether or not the story is consistent.
Nick isn’t perfect, far from it. He’s been incredibly open about all the mistakes he’s made in the past, writing a book to apologize for those mistakes. Wanting nothing more than hoping that others could learn from them. Something he’s never had to do, something he chose to do. It’s one of the many things I’ve always liked about him – being open and honest about who he was in the past. Watching him grow up and turn it all around.
If I still thought it was at all possible Nick was capable of doing this, this post wouldn’t be happening. I wouldn’t be speaking up. I’m a pretty rational person. Yet, here I am. You have the right to make your choice on who to believe. I won’t call you names. I won’t spew hate your way or try to shame you for seeing the facts differently than I. But I implore you to look into it the way I have before you decide. It’s okay to be unsure what to think. All I ask is that you look beyond one side of the story.
I ask you NOT to tweet all this hate on your twitters to the point people have to go on private or block you. (And those of you who believe Nick, please do the same. Do not spread hateful things, that makes us no better.) I’m worried I might have to lock my personal twitter down after this, but I can’t keep staying quiet. Not when people I care about are being harassed. Friends. Fans. Backstreet Boys. It needs to stop.
Just for the record Nick, I believe you.
I support you.